Recently, my girls took gymnastics lessons. While Laura took to it like a duck to water, Emma really struggled with the bar. It was low for young children. She could even reach up and touch without assistance. And there were thick mats beneath it. As if all that weren't enough, she had a wonderful teacher spotting her every moment. Still, she refused repeatedly to even try. Her teacher encouraged her to just touch the bar at first. The next week, she encouraged her to hang freely from it. By the end of the 2-month set of classes, Emma had enough courage to let her teacher spot her as she flipped over once.
I've been thinking about trust a lot lately. It occurs to me that when I feel my emotions escalate during the day, it's usually because I'm not trusting in God like I should. Fear is the source of a wide variety of emotions. When I choose to take matters into my own hands again, things tend to begin falling apart. My solution to this has been to try to cultivate an awareness of God and His provision and assistance every moment of the day. Have you ever tried to think of God's provision while your children are fighting, dinner is burning, and the dog just got chicken bones out of the trash again? Guess what. It can't be done.
So this morning, I was repenting again of my lack of trust. The Psalmist lamented the same thing when he wrote, "I am continually taking my life into my own hands, yet I have not forgotten your Torah" (Psalm 119:109). Thanks be to God who understands that we are but dust!
So this morning, during my time of listening prayer (see link below), I asked God how I could cultivate that awareness of Him all day long. Here was his answer:
If you were on a scaffolding above a construction site, you would initially be aware of the boards in the scaffolding holding you up. As you went on with your day, doing the work you needed to do, you would lose your awareness of the scaffolding, but it would not stop holding you. You don't have to be aware of me every moment of every day for me to be there and hold you up. Trust me enough to step onto the scaffolding. Then do what you need to do. And any time you need to know I'm there, just turn your eyes back toward me, and I'll be there! But no matter what, I'm not going to let you go! That's trust. That's daily trust.
Lord, thank you for your lessons, your words, and for holding me up today and every day. Thank you that I need not fear, for you are there, and you'll never let me down. Thank you for your patience with me, for letting me take things at my own pace, and for encouraging me on to the next step.
Note: For more information on listening prayer, I recommend 4 Keys to Hearing God's Voice by Mark and Patti Virkler.